I came into 2018 ready to give you content full of peace, love and unity! But as I was going for my daily tea fix, scrolling through The Shaderoom’s posts I saw a story about the split between Keri Hilson and her partner and the comments were crazy. Me being as nosey as I am I decided to scroll through the comments to see if anyone had the scoop on why they broke up when I came across many comments like ” She’s pretty but she cant keep a man” and ” Her music is good, but she can’t keep a man for nothing”. All I could think was “REALLY! In 2018!”.
Keri Hilson is a beautiful, talented and successful woman & yet a lot of people found fault in her because she’s had a few relationships. This got me thinking about how many women are probably out there doubting themselves and wondering what is it about them that’s stopping them from being able to maintain a relationship. So I’ve put together 5 reasons why sometimes I just can’t keep a man!
1) R.E.S.P.E.C.T – Let’s be honest, sometimes they’re not supposed to be kept. If someone is abusing your trust, wasting your time ( unacceptable in 2018) or not giving you the love and respect you deserve… Why should you accept that? Learn from it and move on “ain’t nobody got time” for maintaining something just to keep the ‘Wifey’ title. Next!
2) It takes 2 – Being in a relationship does not require me to morph into a Stepford housewife. Relationships are about 2 people connecting and maintaining a solid bond with one another. So for me to keep a man, he has to want to keep me! Obviously, you should make an effort to support and love your partner, but it takes 2 to Tango. If there is no rhythm … Next!
3) Not Everyone Is For Me– Sometimes, in the beginning, you think “Yeah I really like this person” because you don’t really know them and everything about them sounds good on paper. But sometimes that spark was exactly that – a momentary thing. That person was exciting but not stable, lovely but not amazing, a great guy, but just not for me. Next!
4) You Live And You Learn – No- one is perfect & some relationships break down – that’s just life. If you self-reflect and find there’s a repetitive issue BOOM you’re about to grow, if not dust yourself off and try again! Sometimes it’s not the right time, you need to work on yourself, your coins aren’t together and a million other reasons. It’s not because there’s something about you that makes you incapable of maintaining a relationship.
5) I Know My Worth – I’m actually amazing ☺. But in terms of being in a relationship, I know that I should be enough. I shouldn’t have to pretend, lie, overcompensate or buy anyone’s attention or affection. Having a Man/Woman doesn’t make or break you and having failed relationships just teaches you what to do the next time. There should be no shame in giving love a chance, but also knowing when loving yourself is more important!
So I say all the above to say – IT’S NOT YOU. Sometimes keeping Man/Woman just isn’t the best thing if that person isn’t right for you. Focus on what makes you happy; it’s kind of weird how obsessed people are with relationships… but that’s for a different post!
It's Kyla's World🌍 