It's Kyla's World🌍

Although highly underrepresented in both the UK and US, the black love we have seen throughout the last 4 decades on our television sets has been nothing less than spectacular. As it’s officially Black History Month – It is NOT Diversity Month! I thought it’d fun to walk down memory lane and look over some couples from the 80’s – to 00’s that set the tone of #BlackLove!

Growing up in a single parent household and being surrounded by independent black women, TV was a big influence on me and my thoughts on long-term functional relationships. Although fiction ( I know, I know these are not real couples), the lessons learned and the bonds they continued to forge made love an achievable concept in my mind. By seeing men respect and love their wives and women happily nurturing their partners and families whilst finding that balance of independence, shaped my view of love. In today’s world of ratchet TV (which I love and hate), I have always found solace in these shows and their groundbreaking couples.

The Cosby Show – (1984)

Cliff and Clair Huxtable
( He who shall not be named & Phylicia Rashad)

I know it’s controversial because Pill Bill turned out to be a coocoo for coco puffs rapist; buuuut the legacy of the Cosby show will be everlasting in my mind – because he isn’t the only person in it! – You can read about his horrid crimes here

Cliff and Clair soon became TV royalty and highlighted that black people could also be professional, middle class and frankly normal! With Cliff being an esteemed doctor and Clair a successful lawyer and mother of 5, The Cosby Show really embodied a shift in perspective of not just black people, but especially black women. Clair didn’t have to be Susie homemaker to be a good mother and she didn’t have to be the cutthroat, cold, woman to be career motivated; what was refreshing to see is that Cliff was supportive and not threatened by Clair’s success – which we do see a lot on both tv and real life!  Although Clair was the more disciplined of the two; she complimented Cliff’s fun, silly and childlike persona, making them lying and yang in every way. Sometimes you need to be with someone that reminds you that life is what you make it – you may have work and responsibilities but… You gotta laugh when you can! That’s the type of bond you can only hope to experience in reality.

Desmond’s – (1989)

Desmond & Shirley Ambrose
(Norman Beaton & Carmen Munroe)

 The Guyanese couple ( woop woop mi part Guyanese too), also broke racial barriers in the UK; with a predominantly black cast, based in Peckham – before it was gentrified! the show depicted the lives of many Caribbean people who had come to England during the Windrush ( of which they have now started to “accidentally” deport – you can read that debacle here – Foolery ). Desmond’s is what I one day hope for, an old couple who may bicker and argue sometimes-, but who’d actually do anything for one another. Shirley is the strong Caribbean grandmother that anyone with an African Caribbean background can relate to! She keeps Desmond in check but still allows him to be the head of the household. Desmond reminds me so much of my Grandad – mischievous, cheeky but a good solid family man. What more could you ask for? They were pepper and spice and everything nice! 

( Also shout out Pork Pie. Because he was my fave, even though he was a lying cheating SOB! Typical!)

Fresh Prince of Bel Air –

Phillip and Viviane Banks
( James Avery & Janet Hurbet, we will also acknowledge the infamous switch to Daphne Maxwell Reid)

First things first rest in peace uncle Phil (word to J Cole) 🌹

Okay now that’s out of the way – Uncle Phil and Aunt Viv were the staples of my childhood! Obviously, Will and the kids were the main attraction, but the couple really set the tone for the whole family. It was their relationship that sent Will there in the first place! The two were Upper class, well educated and had a solid relationship that even captured viewers. What I took away from them was – they were in looovveeeeeee, uncle Phil was a strong figurehead in the household, but was still a romantic teddy bear for aunt Viv. Every other episode hinted at the fact that they were about to do the nasty, they were having a date night or just wanted some quality time together ( Hey they even had Nicki 14 years, after Ashley!). It was nice to see constant love and affection, even in an older couple – they kept the spark alive 🔥.

Also similar to the first two couples, Aunt Viv struck the balance between independent & vivacious and a loving matriarch and wife. The 90’s taught me I can check my man… and still make dinner for him and love on him after! 

Martin – (1992)

Martin & Gina Payne
(Martin Lawrence & Tisha Campbell)

It was a tough choice, but I felt like I had to pick between Tisha Campbell as Jay in My Wife and Kids or Gina in Martin, because… I actually don’t know why but it’s my blog 🙃 so let’s continue! Martin and Gina are that iconic ride or die 90’s couple! Also,the show just had a better theme tune “Martiiiinnnnn“.

Martin and Gina are more relatable now that I’m older and at that 20-somethings stage where you are just trying to find yourself. They argue, they make up and then they repeat! It’s fun to see how they navigate issues and have petty arguments but still cannot live without each other. Martin had to work through his ” I need to be the Alpha male stage” and Gina had her own working habits, Martin’s mother and her friend Pam who wasn’t the biggest Martin fan. It’s hard to be optimistic about the future when everyone else is making seem like you’re not meant for each other. The show taught me that relationships aren’t easy, but they are worth it. You have to be ready to stand for each other regardless of what others say and think.

They persevered and made it work; living in different houses, on different pay grades ( Gina earned more) and all in all just everything and everybody working against them – including hilarious but hating ass Shaneneh! 

But they made it through, which is something we can all hope to do. You cant become the Huxtables without first being Martin & Gina; young, dumb and in love. 

Everybody Hates Chris – (2005)

Julius and Rochelle Rock
( Terry Crews & Tichina Arnold)

Last but not least! The king and queen of budget living! and who can ever forget the classic line “ My man has 2 jobs. I don’t need this!”

Obviously, the show follows Chris and the awkward predicaments he gets into, but the real gem was always Julius and Rochelle. Tinchina, went from hating ass Pam in Martin to the loud, dominating and loveable matriarch in the show, who didn’t take nothing from anyone – except Julius! He was her strength and her heart, which was shown through the big chicken and the soft moments we often saw between the two. Julius might not have been the romantic, soppy type, but he worked two jobs to give his family everything they needed.

The showed me that broke love 😂 – The love you have to have to struggle with bills, employment and kids, but still manage to rely on each other and be the backbone of the family both individually and as a unit. Now I want that struggle love without the struggle! And a hard working man like Julius is all you need. 

Well, that was a fun trip through memory lane & i hope your hearts are all in the mood for some good old black loooovveeeee! Tv influences lives more than you think, so whilst we may love some ratchet fighting – don’t forget to top up on that good old family sitcom! We even have Blackish to keep us going in the 2010’s!